Posted by: Fresh | 2005/07/16

Do I reall care for her?

Well lets start from the beginning my girlfriend and I have been bestfriends for about 3 years before dating before I was with her I was not the most faithful type of boyfriend I swore up and down I would never do the same things to her that I had done in the past to both her and myself and I was very serious on the matter more to myself though because I know how I am so we start dating and everythings great were both extremely happy mind you I had been trying to date her for years but anyway we had been together for a while and I did something I really regret I cheated on her I felt like shit and the person I cheated on her with I had been messing around with for about a year and had just ended before dating my present girlfriend I really do care for my girlfriend and I would never in my life want to hurt her but I keep cheating on her and I hate it I don't know why I do it and my girlfriends perfect in every aspect and she is my bestfriend I don't know what to do and I don'y know how I should feel the real question is do I really care for her or am I just fooling myself?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You say you don't want to do so, but you continue to keep cheating on her ? Nobody's forcing you to do so. Instead of continuing to do it but puzzling about why, why not just stop doing it ? There's nothing mysterious in the art of not fooling around with the wrong person. Just don't even meet with the sort of people you've been cheating ith. It's that simpl. When someone complains like this, it usually means that they actually want to have their bread buttered on both sides of the slice, and want BOTH their special gf, AND to cheat, and find uncomfortably that this isn't an honourable or comfortable thing to do.
This gf might be your best friend, but it doesn't sound as though you are being her best friend. You know what you need to do, but seem to feel reluctant to do it.

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Our users say:
Posted by: caz | 2005/07/18

exhausting to read your letter, please uses commas and fullstops.

Reply to caz
Posted by: G/F | 2005/07/18

Well the writer here is my B/F and I've been aware of his cheating,his been denying it and believing in himself.
I just need the courage to leave him,which is slowly building up as no woman likes to be cheated on.

Reply to G/F
Posted by: Eyes | 2005/07/17

Fresh, it sounds like you are confused. You need to decide what it is that you want and live by it. You can't have your cake and eat it - you might end up losing both (your girlfriend and the girl you are cheating on her with). Sometimes sacrificing some things in order to keep what you want is the best way to go.

Only you can answer the question: "do I really care for her?". My question is: would you treat someone you love in this way? Maybe that will help you answer your question. There is no justification for cheating - it is what it is: cheating. It sounds like your cheating is causing you more pain and confusion than satisfaction. Let go of this. You are obviously cheating because you are getting something out of it. But ask yourself: is it worth losing someone I love and someone who knows me?

Be honest with yourself. I think the answer you are looking for is staring you in the face. You know in your heart what is right - it's up to you to recognise it.

Good luck.

Reply to Eyes

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