Posted by: Sandy | 2008/01/22

Do I need to see a shrink

I am 27 year old female, who has been seeing this guy for three years and we have a baby together. In my previous relationship my boyfriend repeatededly cheated on me with different woman. Sometimes I woud even find in red handed. Yet I still stayed in the relationship. I one day it was enough and I walked out. Now I am with my current partner who I "think" is totally honest with me but I still always think he is having affairs. In the 3 years that we have been together I have not once noticed anything or seen anything, but I am constantly thinking that I am going to find something, I even hack into his emails everyday to see if there is anything from any woman there. This has made me so insecure and needy. I hate it, but I dont know how to stop these thoughts. Do you think I should go see a shrink.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It was an awfully bad idea to have stayed with your previous, cheating boyfriend, and this suggests that you have an inappropriately low self-respect and self-esteem --- you deserve very much better than that. Now, if you have a residue of suspicion which is damaging your current relationship with a guy who is apparently caring and faithful, see a personal counsellor, or perhaps a relationship counsellor together, to work this through. You know, that if you have been looking so closely for three years and have found nothing, there is almost certainly nothing to find --- the expectation is a delayed response to what happened before. Work with your own therapist / counsellor to get over these bad habits of thought and expectation

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