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Question
Posted by: Tough Cookie | 2008/01/10

Do I need therapy?

I've gone through many traumatic experiences in my life and have never been for counselling, I feel that I am pretty strong and so self motivated and try to keep my chin up and stay positive and I think that's what makes me get over these issues. Just to give you an idea - i've been sexually abused from the age of 5 until my teenage years by different male family members including a grandfather, my parents got divorced when i was 6, my childhood was not a happy one as I was the eldest and my mother expected me to be in control while she was at work. I am busy divorcing my husband who is verbally abusive and after 11yrs I refuse to have him make me feel like nothing when I know that I am special. Lots of my friends have told me that I should go for counselling after how he treated me and how he threatens me.
I feel that I am strong and don't feel like my personality has altered to such an extent that I require therapy.
It's very difficult to talk about the hurt inside and re-live the memories by talking about them in detail. I think I am more scared of that? Am I wrong?

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Our expert says:
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TC, you've had a difficult and challenging life --- and from the sound of it, you've met the challenges remarkably well. Nopw, as for counselling, it is not a refugee center for the weak --- it can be a situation wherein the strong learn to improve and enhance their techniques of coping and their capabilities. IF you did seek counselling, though I'd think of two provisos --- (a) it should be with some specific target(s) --- some particular issues or problems you want to be able to deal with better than heretofor, and (b) it ABSOLUTELY MUST NOT be with any airy-fairy analytical type amateur, and ONLY with a pratitioner of realistic and effective Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy. It is NEVER EVER necessary to re-live memories by talking about them in detail --- any therapist who insists on that is an insufficioently trained quack and should be avoided.

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