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Question
Posted by: Data | 2003/03/03

Do I have the rite to be mad?

I am a young woman in the business world. My boss is my brother, and I also stay with him and his lover. His lover also work for him. Know my brother's lover thinks he owns the business.

This pass weekend, I came up with a very BIG idee to improve this business. With no doudt, that my idee would have bring lots of money in.
So, I work everything out from A-Z.
I told my brother about it, He still said that it's a great idee.

This morning in a meeting, My brother's Boyfriend used my idee for the company.
I am more the peed off. I feel like mudering him.

It was mine, all mine. I don't feel like doing anything for my brothers company.
I now wish all bad luck, for them.

I told my brother about it, and he knows it was mine.
I hope he f@cks it up.

Do I need to be so mad? What can I do to calm myself?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well, dear Data, you've done one of the things that helps --- written to us abou it, and used the chance to get it off your chest. The whole brother/lover/sister/living together/working together bit sounds rather incestuous, doesn't it ? And it sounds a competitive rather than friendly atmosphere. If you folks were the main three at the meeting, and your brother already knew this was your idea, what was the point of his lover presenting it and pretending it was his own idea ? Both of you knew where the idea came from, so what was he hoping to active ? Is he usually so insecure as to need to grab at a chance to look more important ?
It's usually, anyhow, a better idea when one has such brainwaves, to jot down the idea in a memo, with your name on it, and the date, so there's evidence for the record, of where it came from, and from whom.
Can't you discuss this with your brother ( alone ) and describe how annoying this was for you, and how it severely discourages you from making any other contributions to the company ? Isn't he prepared to give you some formal share in the business, especially in proportion to the success of such ideas ?
To what extent is there otherwise some sense of competition between you and his lover, such that the guy might want to undermine you ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Data | 2003/03/03

Dear Cybershrink & Sadeyes

Thank you both for the advise. And next time I will do as you (cybershrink) said, to jot down the idea in a memo.

Reply to Data
Posted by: sadeyes | 2003/03/03

I say tell your brother's lover where to get off - it also seems like he is taking advantage of the fact that he is your brother's lover. I think you need to sit your brother down ( quitely and by yourselves - without his significant other being there) and tell him what is going on. Try and talk it out without making it seem that you are trying to break them apart because if your bro's lover is insecure he will make it seem like that. Also point out to your brother that it was your idea in the first place - your brother's lover obviously cannot handle that fact that you are an intelligent woman, so sad. I think he is very threatened by you. I think that you should take the situation and make it positive show him that you can outsmart him anyway - oh yes DONT forget to be nice about it - kill him with kindness. GOOD LUCK!!!

Reply to sadeyes

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