Our expert says:
SV, it is clealy this girls tactic to do all she can to make him feel guilty, and to persuade him of the lie that he must be responsible for how she chooses to feel about the situation. It's an age-old ploy, and never works as desired --- you can force an Ex to return by piling up the guilt-trip, but that doesn't produce a loving and satisfying relationship, any more than it would be to keep him with you by chaining him to the furniture.
But Polly is probably right, that it's wise to be cautious. Your feelings, and his, and even hers, are understandable. Make it clear to him that you understand that he's in a tough situation, ; that you can't help feeling jealous when she keeps calling and claiming his attention, but that you'll try to support him through this phase ; and that she seems to be trying to flare up his feelings of guilt so as to get what she wants, and that you don't think he needs to accept the invitation to feel guilty.
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