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Question
Posted by: ZeeZee | 2007/05/03

Divorce vs death of spouse

Morning

Why is it that so many people can tell you to your'e face that it is better if your'e spouse is dead than a divorce because then you wont see him ever again.....It has been 4 and a half years since my husband passed on and I just cant seem to get on with my life...I battle with depression constantly and how do you deal with remarks like that.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

WHoever said that to you is a total idiot. As Buzz says, people who indulge in pain competitions deserve to be ignored --- she was obviously extrapolating from her own profound bitterness and not at all thinking about your feelings. But if you are still at a standstill in your grief after 4 1/2 years, it would be a good idea to see a counsellor to work on this, so that you can adjust better to the loss.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Buzz | 2007/05/03

Hi ZeeZee! People often make (unintentional) hurtful comments and should rather shut up, unless they've been in your shoes. You should just tell them next time that you prefer them not making comparisons (like it's a pain competition!!!), because you loved your husband and lost him - which is very different to divorce and hatred. Geez!!!

Have you been for counselling?

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