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Question
Posted by: Nikki | 2005/12/10

Divorce or not

I have been married for 7 years but I and my husband are together for over 12 years. I am 26 and he is 32 we have a lovely 4 year old daughter. The problem is that we fight the whole time when he is at home. He is a truck driver and is only home weekends. I am not happy in my marriage any more but still love him. I also don't want to stay with him just for our daughter sake. I had an affair 2 years back and he found out I stopped.

I don't know what to do I divorce must I move out what will this do to my family and my daughter. Where do I go? If I leave him will I loose my daughter also? I suffer from manic depression and have trade to commit suicide all ready twice. I am scared my husband may use this against me if I ask for divorce but I still love him but cannot live with him. What am I to do?

He will not seek help because he feels the problem is with me.

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Our expert says:
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Sometimes you can persuade a husband who needs it, to enter marriage counselling, with the idea that its aim is to deal with the problems "with you", but of course emphasizing how his input and participation is essential in order to get such matters sorted out properly.
If the problems are not soluble, especially if he will not participate in attempting to solve them, divo4rce may be an option that would improve things for you and your daughter. It wouldn't be easy for him to use your prior depression and suicide attempt to block custody, especially if there is evidence that in recent years or at least months, this problem is receiving proper treatment and that tyou are responding well ( and make sure that this becomes true if by chance it isn't, so far ).

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