Our expert says:
Divorce must always be an individual and personal decision, preferably after making strenuous efforts, such as via marriage counselling, to put things right. And maybe further counselling is needed, as the main problem is continuing. At the very least she is being outrageously inconsiderate of your feelings, and ruining her skin by all that basking in the sun --- and with a man who reeks of perfume ? And at the worst maybe she is being unfaithful, at least in her heart if not physically. And you shouldn't, even at the worst, lose your daighter, to whom she can have no possible claim. As I see it, either you make the decision that enough is enough, and give an ultimatum that she has to stop this major contact with her Ex and let him truly be an Ex, and devote herself, with counselling if necessary, to a serious committment to this marriage, or you would move to separation and eventual divorce ; or you try the counselling route once more, though it doesn't sound as if she's very commited to getting things right. At present, she seems to be expecting to get the best of both worlds.
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