Posted by: Anon2 | 2008/01/25

Disturbing Memories

My fiance was addicted to cocaine & heroin for about 2 years.

We lived in Joburg at the time and I fell pregnant (planned); as time went by things got worse and worse. He started selling our things, he lost job after job, I eventually lost my job due to him.

I had given birth to my baby on 3 June 2007 and he finally admitted he had a problem and went into rehab on the 19 June 2007. I lived with my gran at that stage. I had an extremely difficult time with my baby as she was colic and I'm sure she could pick up on my stress too.

Once he came out of rehab we relocated immediately to live with him mom & dad to get away from everybody and everything. Which has solved 1 problem (his addication), he has been clean ever since.

But I'm struggling with the horrible memories I had during the time when he was on drugs, I was left alone, pregnant, no food in the house, no TV, no cellphone, no car, no money only my 2 dogs it gets 2 a stage where I feel like I want to completely break down as I don't know what to do with this as it won't go away.

We are in no place financially for me to seek councilling.

What can I do to put these memories at rest and move on???

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sorry to hear of all your problems. I agree with ck that Post Natal Depression, PND is a real possibility. COuldn't you check what facilities for psych service is available through your nearest clinic or state / provincial hospital ?
What happened in this recent past set of events was truly unfortunate, but by clinging to the bitterness about those times, in a sense you are prolonging them, keeping them alive, rather than moving on and creating a new and happier life for you, he, and your child

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Our users say:
Posted by: ck | 2008/01/25

Well, firstly admit that you might be having some sort of post natal depression, secondly find your self a church you like. Thirdly get involved at church and ask for help there. It is for free and it will open up alot of things in your mind. God is there all the time, watching planning our lives.Tell your fiance how you feel about this, talk to him. He is sober now so surely he will be thinking rationally and admit he was wrong.
Take a few deep breathes and stand up and take control. I had that for just about 4 years, and I was the addict. Not my husband. My son suffred as a result and I have terrible guilt. I am on medication and can see clearly now and think realisticly. But prior I also had no home, no money and a baby to feed. I knelt down and gave my problems over to God. I thanked him for every last thing I had and I was thankfull to Him for picking me up and helping me on. I havent looked back on that life once. Try it

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