Our expert says:
Interesting observations, fossy. Sometimes a person throws themselves so intenely into a relationship, and gets so tied up in trying to become whatever they think the other operson wants, that they lose sight of who they themselves actually are, and a short separation may indeed help you to rediscover yourself. well done.
And it sounds as if your discoveries require a re-evaluation of the relationship itself. A counsellor could help you to complete this task more efficiently, and to work on how to remain your true self, in this or any other relationship, and to learn to be less easily manipulated.
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