Posted by: CJ | 2008/11/12

Disciplining our child

Hi there
Need some advice please. we have a 2 year old (will be 3 in Feb) who is very very busy. But we are now experiencing some discipline problems. My problem is that Dad responds by screaming/shouting at him. And I' m saying that this type of response does not work. firstly my son will think that this is the way to resolve conflict/difficult situations.Secondly I' m tired of the shouting in my house (I try not to interfere when dad' s doing the disciplining). One second everything is fine,next second a bomb has exploded. i must however add that my husband adores our baby, and always feels terribly guilty afterwards. This has been going on for a while after I' ve suggested different ways of handling situations. I' m not perfect but I do believe there is a better way. He is still a child, so he isn' t going to be perfect.
I' m thinking about seeing a specialist, but haven' t a clue of where to start.We live on the East Rand (Boksburg)

Please help


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

SOunds like you have the right idea about discipline --- shouting never did work. Work with the dad so you have a joint set of reasonable rules, and the same ideas of penalties --- and remind him, sometimes kids learn to misbehave MORE to get attention, even if its unpleasant shouting attention --- so the trick is to give rewarding attention when you catch him behaving well, and to withdraw that attention when he misbehaves. And remember at 2, he's not yet capable of a sophisticated idea of right and wrong, nor yet the distinction about what drives dad mad, and what doesn't. So don't sweat the small things, and concentrate on the bigger issues.
A child psychologist might help to convince your husband and to suggest a system you both could use

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Our users say:
Posted by: Nozi | 2008/11/12

CS is right, never shout at the child makes him more stubborn. Rewards when good etc he needs to be handled with care.
Dad needs counselling big time, he has to learn how to overcome his shouting.I know men seem to think that boys must be handled like a man otherwise they will become sofies, hard st times for mom to intervene than the child is a mommies boy
.Stop dad doing this it is harmful for the child and don' t tell dad off about his behaviour in front of the little one.GET HELP FOR DAD he may have had a tough life when younger and thinks this is how it is done.

Reply to Nozi

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