Posted by: steve | 2008/06/30

dilemma regarding a girl

Hi all, Im hoping someone can help (not sure if cs is available after recent events). Ive recently come out of a long relationship and I decided that over the next few months, while Im single, that I would focus on getting myself and career sorted out. Also Im not ready to open up to anybody. However Ive now met a girl. She's cool and we had some fun times together, but im not ready or willing to commit to anything right now. How do I tell her this without offending her? I get the feeling that she really likes me but I dont feel the same. Is it selfish of me to want to continue hanging out with her and sometimes kissing, but not commit? I dont want to lead her on, but I like her company. How do I tell her this without sounding like an ass?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Would it necessarily offend her to simply explain calmly and pleasantly your siuation and how you feel ? If she finds that offensive, then she's nowhere near as cool as you thought she was.

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Our users say:
Posted by: anon | 2008/06/30

hey its better if u lay out your cards out staright now,i dont have to tell u how we women interpret things sometimes.
You just gona be sending mix signals and u might hurt her which im sure you dont want. You dont state your age and assume you are still young, so go and get a career and make soemthing of your life before settling down.

Reply to anon
Posted by: **** | 2008/06/30

Honesty is lawyas the best policy. Agree with Maria, just say it like you said it in this email.

Reply to ****
Posted by: Maria | 2008/06/30

Steve, just tell her what you've now told us. She will respect you for treating her with integrity. You run the risk of losing the girl, but that's better than leaving her in limbo.

Reply to Maria

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