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Question
Posted by: Dilemma | 2007/06/06

Dilemma

I met this awesome guy last year - a mutual friend introduced us but we were both not at a stage where we wanted to be in a relationship - 7 months later we've bumped into eachother again and now have decided that we'd like to try a relationship?

The issues (aaah why must there always be)
1) Our mutual friend didn't want us to date before she said it was because we weren't at the right stage in our lifes and if one of us hurt the other then she'd be in a difficult situation. They were housemates
2)A few months later she told me she'd like to date this guy and I said cool go ahead i'm not looking to date anyone

This makes me think that point 1 was a cover up?

3) the two of them had a huge fight never landed up dating she's dating his friend now .. They're not even talking

They hate eachother and I don't know if I should go ahead with this because to me friendship is far more important ... And if I do decided to how do I tell her

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I'm not really an expert in "awesome guys" ( though I used to ondly believe that I was one ).
You're all presumably adults. If our mutual friend chose to introduce you, she cannot, logically or in terms of sheer good manners, expect to therafter dictate what the pair or you can or can't do. And if she thought you "weren't at the right stage in your lives" --- why on earth did she introduce you at all ? Its your point two that makes sense --- she fancies him herself, and wants him for herself. So she's being selfish, not considerate. And then they quarrelled, so she doesn't fancy seeing you make a close friend of someone she is no longer friendly with.
She has put you in the dilmma, and should be Big enough to get you out of it by not objecting. Friendship is important to you --- but she is insisting that her friendship with you must be held more important than any other friendship you might form. Is that fair ? Is that friendly ?

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