Our expert says:
Sounds like part of the normal range of infuriating teenage behaviours. And, discovering his new strength, he concentrates on you not being able to FORCE him to do things, rather than on whether it is reasonable for him to do them. SOunds like a rather basic set of discipline problems, with an effectively absent father, and a kid taking advantage of having never been given a set of reasonable rules and consequences to help him learn the value of self-discipline.
His dad is sadly too busy trying to be his friend to bother to be a real dad - kids usually have plenty of friends, but need at least one dad. The kid does sound manipulative - most kids are instinctively so, given the chance. Maybe som sesions with a psychologist with an interest in adolescent problems would help you to set up a system in which he could learn discipline before it is too late to do so.
And one set of consequences for NOT behaving well should be loss of the sports gear, coaching, special diet, etc., if these are things he values.
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