Our expert says:
it does sound from your description that puberty has arrived and that he is having questions about his sexuality and becoming curious about this.
As you are another male and not his father this may have become a source of fascination for him. Whilst there are certain boundaries that need to be maintained, its also important that he feels he can trust you - snooping through his room and phone will only make matters worse.
However, it may be worth thinking about having a conversation with him about sexuality if this is possible. Alternatively there is quite a bit of literature out there that you can leave in his room for him. If he crosses certain lines with you about sexuality that make you feel uncomfortable it is about letting him know calmly what you feel is okay and what isnt.
Whatever his sexuality is he has to discover this for himself and will best be done if he knows that whoever he is it will be accepted.
Also bear in mind that this is a very turbulent time in his life and relationships are often strained. I would encourage you to speak with your wife about things - without her having to make judgements or confront him. You should be able to talk to one another about parenting him - consistency between the two of you is vital.
I know a childs emerging sexuality can be an uncomfortable thing, but if he feels accepted there should be less tension between you, and it will be healthier for him.
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