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Question
Posted by: Stoffel | 2003/12/11

Difficult Relationship with M-in-law

I have been dating this girl for almost 1 and n half years and i love her and want to spend as much time as possible with her. Now the problem is her mother invited everyone to go and spend christmas there and now suddenly the mother dont want me there anymore! Everyone in my family are on holiday somewhere far and theres nowhere I can go to actually have fun on christmas day. Her mother knows im all alone over christmas time. What must I do? I really want to spend christmas with my gf!

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Our expert says:
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Stoffel,
you have a good point --- and surely this is something you need to discuss clearly with your gf, and she with her mother. Maybe they don't realize that you will be all alone over Christmas, and thus that they're being far less charitable and Christian than they think. Is there a problem about accomodation, that other, family, folks will be staying there and they're concerned about sleeping room ? Sometimes it's someting as simple as -- they feel obliged to invite Oom Piet who they can't leave out without a family feud, but he has dreadful manners, so they're ashamed to let anyone outside the family meet him ?
If there isn't any good reason for you not to join them, ( and after 18 months of dating, it would need to be a really good reason ), can't she discuss this with her om an family and get you invited ? If they are reluctant, can't she make it clear she'd rather spend her Christmas with you, and if you're not involved at the family home, she'd rather spend the time with you elsewhere ?

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