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Question
Posted by: marriage | 2004/02/09

Difficult Partner

Marriage what a difficult thing. I feel very discouraged asking myself if I’m going to survive marriage with the kind of partner I have. We had a fight on Saturday when I apologies he tells me he won’t accept my apology until I show him some respect, in the meantime he’s not even apologising for the awful things he said. My husband is so cruel if he’s angry more than once he reminded me that the pots we use in our house he bought them, reminding me that all the furnisher we have are his. He demand respect from me that I don’t even get from him. I don’t know how to handle him anymore.
Yesterday I cooked and dished out he said he’ll eat later, then he goes and made himself some eggs and left the food I cooked….what is that. How do I handle this kind of person. Please advice.

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Our expert says:
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Any husband that has to remind his wife who bought the pots and pans, sounds more married to his credit card than to his wife. While he is handling this situation badly, from the sound of it, it does seem clear that he FEELS thast you don't respect him, even if he fails to notice the extent to which he disrespects you. You could try making him feel respected, not as a way of capitulating / surrendering, but as a way of modelling for him, showing him how it is done. And perhaps, in talking with him ( NOT during an argument, when no useful talking gets done ) talk about how it must be hard for him to show respect for you when he has not been feeling that you respect him, and that you are trying to break this vicious cycle between the two of you, and would really appreciate it if he would also try to make you fel more respected --- because that would be best for both of you.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Guitar | 2004/02/10

I think it's about to move out. I hope you have a job, if you don't look for one and leave him. I do not it is fair for a person to be desreptected this way. We are all the same before our creater. If you really love yourself and want to be happy, it's about time you end it.

Good luck doll, I will support you all the way!

Reply to Guitar
Posted by: anna | 2004/02/09

Some husbands are very cruel I think I understand and feel what you are going throught. My advice is dont make him to feel important - If he does no want to eat the food you prepared ask him once or twice as to what is wrong then stop asking BUT do not stop dishing up for him.

As for the assest that he says are his, he is so wrong the minute he said I do to you he meant with every thing. So everything he says is his is your 101% so stop worrying.

Hope everything works out.

Reply to anna

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