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Question
Posted by: Pinky | 2008/06/02

difficult mom

my mother and her husband(my step father) had a fight because she caught him cheating on her and she moved out. she moved in with my sister who also doesn’t have it easy financially. Now she's expecting my sister to finance all her needs and she's employed. My sister are a single parent who are also employed and earn less than my mother. my mom doesn’t pay anything towards rent only buy food +- worth r300.00 now and then. my sister has to pay her transport money, buy food and some times she also asked money from my sister. She's also busy reconciling with her husband who is in hospital at the moment on my mothers medical aid and now she expect my sister to give her money to travel to hospital and back. my mom is the kind of person who will swear , threaten to commit suicide and throw tantrums if we confront her with this issue. This is how she reacted when we confronted her previously regarding another issue. Previously she was so difficult and rude we called the pastor to come and talk to her when he left she told us that she only agreed to what he was saying because she wanted him to finish and leave. How do we deal with my mom and this issue?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

YOu may be sympathetic about her marital problems, but moving out was no way to solve them --- your mom should be told to go back and get into marriage counselling, to work on her problems. And to stop sponging off her daughter who can't afford the luxury of having her do so. Your sister must tell her this, and immediately STOP giving her transport money or any other money, reminding her that she is employed and earns more than her daughter. And she should be told that if she has a tantrum, or swears, or threatens suicide or anything else, she will be asked to leave and find somewhere else to stay. She is being greedy, selfish and manipulative. And why not call the pastor again, to give her these messages ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: almost mad | 2008/06/02

im sorry to say this, but she cares more about herself and her man than she cares for her kids. Either that or she is just a plain out bad mother who is selfish and inconsiderate, not to mention minipulative. You and your sister need to learn to say NO to her. Stop being scared of your mother, and start putting your foot down. she isnt a child, she can fend for herself

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