Our expert says:
You are not alone in your experience, I work with women complaining of similar circumstances. Some men that I work with also have concerns about the impact that porn has on the way in which they begin to look at women. I think it is indeed of concern that he is spending a lot of time on the net watching porn. There is some evidence that suggests that watching porn changes the 'arousal map' in the brain; this means that what turns him on changes and he may need more of this to get excited (a lot like an addict). Sex on the internet is also not loving, and so it may be that he forgets that part of himself for the sake of the physical thrill. I would encourage you to talk about this with him, it's not necessarily anything to do with his feelings for you. However, it may also be that he felt that sex could only ever be 'lovemaking' with you if you felt uncomfortable to 'play' or explore the fun side of sex (it doesn't all have to be lovemaking, but does help if in a loving relationship) - you need to check with him what he thought happened and how he understands the changes in himself. It may be that you needed to accomodate him a little too...
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