Posted by: Apache_boy | 2008/06/20

Did i treat this correctly?

Hey guys,

I would love to hear your comments, but i especially want to here Lonewolfs comments.

One of my more recent friends said something to me last night that kind of shocked me initially, but in the end i think i shocked him more than he me...

He told me he is HIV+. Inititially i was shocked like i said, i mean he is only 23.... he is so young, sweet and a great friend... but i shocked him by saying that that doesnt mean we cant still be friends... he is still the same person and i still care about him the same way... that hasnt changed at all... i will be there to support him and be a shoulder for him to cry on when he needs one... he only found out 3 weeks ago and told only a few people (he hasnt even told his parents) and i am happy that he trusts me with this and i still want to be his friend... He told one of his other friends and the guy just walked away and he hasnt heard from him...

Did i handle this correctly... i will admit this is one of my 1st friends that is +... so i am unsure, i mean he is still the same guy...

Hugs n love

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Our users say:
Posted by: Nikkits | 2008/06/20

You did GREAT A_Boy ....


Reply to Nikkits
Posted by: LONEWOLF | 2008/06/20

Hi Apache_boy. First of all, what has changed? He is still your friend. Treat him the same as yesterday and the day before. He is still the same guy, he is just LIVING with HIV, and he does not have the Bubonic Plague. I have found that people tend to treat you with special gloves once they hear it. People are strange and can be very cruel, without even realizing it. One does not want to be constantly reminded of it either. If he asks help, try your best to help him as far as your ability stretch, or help him find out what he wants to know. Have sympathy, but not so much sympathy that it becomes the rule. Life goes on regardless, and one has to learn to deal with life. LIVING with HIV is just a way of life, not a death sentence. You can even have sex with him, provided of course that you use protection. You must also be prepared to deal with his emotions. No one deals with this diagnosis in the same manner. He will experience all kinds of emotions in varying degrees. There will be depression, thoughts of death, thoughts of not giving a damn, the list goes on. The important thing is to help him to go on as before with living a productive happy life. If he needs professional help, like a psychologist or a proper MD, go and see them and get help. There are more help out there than one realizes. With today’s medicine, he can live a happy, healthy quality life for decades. I promise. I work harder than ever before after almost 15 years of LIVING with HIV. I am in the process of buying a business in the hospitality industry and really looking forward to it as a means of retirement. There you have it. Stand by him, give sympathy when needed, but do not smother him with it. The smothering part of sympathy was the part I hated the most. Also, he does not have to tell his parents if there is no need. He must weigh up the consequences himself, as he knows how well they will be able to deal with it. Keep well and give your friend a hug and a kiss.


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