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Question
Posted by: Spiritual | 2008/05/26

Diary Reader

My boyfriend normally wait for me at my place and sometimes rest in my bedroom until I arrive. I learned recently that he snooped and read my diary while in my bedroom, claiming he wanted to know me better. I am so angry and feel disrespected that I dont know how to handle this. Initially, I wanted to leave him. What advise can you give me.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its a very intimate act, done without your permission. He could have asked --- but then you could have left it somewhere secure, where nobody else would have found it. As Maria suggests, think this through in relation to all the rest of your relationship, and don't make a hasty decision. I wonder HOW you found out that he read your diary. If he told you what he had done, that's more honest. If someone else told you that he had talked about doing so, perhaps about some of its contents, then that's a much more serious breach of trust

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Our users say:
Posted by: Britty | 2008/05/26

I thought that the correspondence I typed to a particular friend was private and was shocked and upset when my hubby told me he had read our stuff without even asking me. Now if I can't protect what I write from anybody I don't do it. What we write, especially in a diary, is just so attractive to others who just can't mind their own business. I must admit that if my husband was my boyfriend I would have dumped him. If your boyfriend wants to get to know you better then he can do it by just talking to you. Unfortunately your boyfriend has broken trust with you and that is very difficult to overlook. However I am sure you will do what is right for you. Take care and fnd a better hiding place for your diary with a nice complicated lock!

Reply to Britty
Posted by: butterfly | 2008/05/26

Think about it this way would you go through his diary if you had a choice, Think about would you want to learn more about him if you could. Im not justifying waht he did but also understand maybe it was just to get to know you better or maybe he never realised it would upset you so much

Reply to butterfly
Posted by: Maria | 2008/05/26

Wrong as it may seem I think many people might have done the same in his position. It's a very human thing to do. What is the rest of your relationship like? Is it worth giving it all up over this issue alone? Or are there other problems as well.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Anon for this | 2008/05/26

I once went through me (now ex) girlfriends stuff. She was also VERY angry. But then again I would understand why. As I found letter from another guy. We dated two more years after that, but the trust was broken forever. I did not trust her, and she did not trust me for not going through her stuff. I believed she is hiding more, she believed it has nothing to do with me...
The long and the short of it, is i've learned my lesson... What the heart does not know, will not hurt...
Its up to you if you would trust him again. At the end of the day a relationship is built on trust…

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