Posted by: Mins | 2008/07/22

Detached for making love

Dear Fertility Expert

Your opinion please!

I have been battling to fall pregnant for 4 years. I have had one successful twin pregnancy through the GIFT process, we lost the babies at 14 weeks.

2x failed IVF / ICSI

2x failed donor eggs

The last procedure was in April. However I find that I am emotionally and sexually withdrawn from making love to my husband. In fact I can' t bare him to try and be intimate with me.

Is this a nromal reaction. I have been incredibly emotional about this, but can' t seem to talk about it. Although I have a very understanding and supportive husband I know that he is fearing the worst.

We are both not ' young'  anymore - both in our 40' s!

I am not only sad for him but sad for me too. Making love has always been special for me with him, but making love to me now just seems to close to trying to be pregnant or getting pregnant.

I really would appreciate a response from you and perhaps any suggestions.

Many thanks and best regards.


Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageFertility expert

Dear Mins

Unfortunately this is a rather common cause of events particularly after several failed assisted reproductive procedures. Apart from the usual advice as to seek counselling I would suggest that you continue exploring avenues for conception and do not take on a defeatist approach as this will only compound the problem further. In my experience, a successful pregnancy usually restores the situation to normal.

Answered by: Dr.M.I. Cassim

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Dee GTC | 2008/07/22

I would suggest that if you are not on any treatment at the moment then you should just go onto the pill for a month or two. It really helps take the pressure off in terms of having sex to fall pregnant because you know it wont happen on the pill. < br> < br> I know how you feel but you need to try and liven things up again - try a new toy or dress up really sexy. You need to give your mind a break from your body. It will come right with a bit of imagination and dedication to change things around.

Reply to Dee GTC

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.