Our expert says:
I hope I don't sound repetitious when I suggest you seek CBT ( Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ) which deals well with such issues as self-confidence and emotional dependence, and similarly inconvenient automatic assumptions and behaviours. And clarifying exactly who you are, without needing reference to someone else. Potential effects of earlier abuse can be a host of self-assumptions which are both ianccurate and unhelpful.
With the dominating guys, maybe it matters much less who you are, as they hardly care. And as you notice, the WAY you interact with the weaker guys also involves them paying less attention to who you really are.
With the current relatonship you say you realize you're not getting all you expected from him --- is this a matter of feeling dissatisfied at a rather general level, or are you clear about WHAT you expect and are not getting ?
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