Posted by: Peter Pan | 2007/12/14

Depression or Worse

Subject: RE: Depression or worse?
Posted by: Peter Pan
I am 30 years old women, i have had a string of really bad relationships, i finally met a guy who i adore, he is 9 years older than me, he was the first guy that i met who makes me feel special, treats me like a queen, i know that i have found the one, two years ago he was diagnosed with cancer, he is critally ill, he weighed 90kgs, and now is 40kgs, I am his care giver and a lover, I have been really depressed, I hate everything and everyone around me, life is really unfair to me, I hate to see the one i love in such a bad condition. I am also depressed about the fact that i am 30years old and i am not married as yet, i long to be married and have kids but i know its too late now. I feel that i have not achieved alot in my life, i have made many stupid decisions, I cannot stand to see anyone prospering in life especially my siblings. I am very depressed, I cannot sleep, i am on sleeping pills but they dont help, i cannot remember when last i had a sleeping pill, I do not have a car or home of my own. i am sad and depressed everyday, I have picked up alot of weight, i have become really angry and bitter, pelase help me, give me some advice on how to look at life in a more positive way!

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Our expert says:
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SO sorry to hear of this tragic situation, PP. Great that you have met a genuinely great man ; tragic that he is so seriously ill. But don't think of him as "the one" in the sense of him somehow being the one and only good man on earth. He may be one of the relatively few, but not entirely unique among the species. I hope you are working with the Cancer Association and the nearest Hospice Group to be sure that between you he can receive adequate and expert symptom control. <br>As for yourself, you richly deserve to see a good counsellor (maybe starting with someone from the Hospice or Cancer Association) for yourself. Sad that one may have made some stupid decisions, but at least you recognize them for what they were, which provides the opportunity to learn from those experiences and to avoid them in future. <br>Proper depression treatment would be more useful than sleeping pills, which don't help depression --- but don't stop them suddenly, and ask your doc /shrink for specific advice on coming off them gently as your depression treatment starts to be effective. CBT counselling is excellently effective at changing the sort of negative approach to life you have slid into, and at helping you find genuinely positive ways to approach life instead, with real benefits.

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