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Question
Posted by: Deon | 2007/12/12

Depression or worse?

I think my wife might have a problem. I have noticed that she has the tendency to get really excited about something to the exclusion of everything else and then once commitments have been made to help her see her ideas come to life she suddenly looses all desire and oomph on the subject. Even on a good day she cannot seem to work up the same level of enthusiasm that she once did. Example: We spend 3500.00 on a catering course because she loves cooking, hates her job and thought it would be great to open her own catering business. She made plans, designed company logos and stationary and within 6 months lost all interest in the subject. A year down the line she looks through her study material now and again, talk half heartedly about the business she want to start but the enthusiasm just isn;t there anymore. She did the same with long distance running - she wanted to run the comrades - spent all the money on shoes and training kits - now I can't even get her to go walking around the block. As a matter of fact she does it with everything no matter how small or how big. I have tried to be encouraging but when she gives up on something nothing gets her back to that initial point of enthusiasm. Is this a problem I should be worried about or is this extreme shift in behaviour just a personality quirk? Her father has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and I have heard that it is hereditary? Should we be seeking professional help?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

There's something very seriously wrong with the forums programming yet again, Deon, as I already answered this question, and the response seems to have got lost. I can't keep re-answering questions again and again and again

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Mel | 2007/12/14

Dear Peter Pan, if you want CS to answer your question please start a new question. He does not look at the old questions.

Do this a.s.a.p. and hopefully he can give you some good advice because I think you are very unhappy at the moment.

Best of luck.

Reply to Mel
Posted by: Peter Pan | 2007/12/14

I am 30 years old women, i have had a string of really bad relationships, i finally met a guy who i adore, he is 9 years older than me, he was the first guy that i met who makes me feel special, treats me like a queen, i know that i have found the one, two years ago he was diagnosed with cancer, he is critally ill, he weighed 90kgs, and now is 40kgs, I am his care giver and a lover, I have been really depressed, I hate everything and everyone around me, life is really unfair to me, I hate to see the one i love in such a bad condition. I am also depressed about the fact that i am 30years old and i am not married as yet, i long to be married and have kids but i know its too late now. I feel that i have not achieved alot in my life, i have made many stupid decisions, I cannot stand to see anyone prospering in life especially my siblings. I am very depressed, I cannot sleep, i am on sleeping pills but they dont help, i cannot remember when last i had a sleeping pill, I do not have a car or home of my own. i am sad and depressed everyday, I have picked up alot of weight, i have become really angry and bitter, pelase help me, give me some advice on how to look at life in a more positive way!

Reply to Peter Pan
Posted by: Mel | 2007/12/13

Hi Deon,
My daughter is also 29 years old and she has a lot of patience with my granddaughter who is 4 years old but just as you said the one day she will have a lot of patience and spend a lot of time with her but the next day she puts her down infront of the TV and she must watch cartoon network for most of the day. Fotunately she goes to a playschool during the week. My daughter also had serious baby blues after the birth because my son-in-law had to do nappy changing because she couldn't even do that. I know my daughter will never be able to cope with another child but she has serious problems at the moment.
Rather take your wife to a professional because we are very despondent at this stage with my daughter. Her bipolar disorder is getting seriously out of control at the moment and she refuses to see a shrink.

Reply to Mel
Posted by: Deon | 2007/12/13

Sorry Mel - I got your name wrong in my reply - that's what you get when you're typing and listening to your three year old tell you his version of the Spiderman story.

Reply to Deon
Posted by: Deon | 2007/12/13

Hi ME!,
Thanks for the info - I suppose I also should have mentioned the fact that we have a three year old boy and that my wife is 11 weeks pregnant with our next one. She is 29 years old. She is good with our son and has developed a love for children since he was born, but she does loose interest in his activities quickly. One day she will get really irritated with him really quickly and another day she will be the embodiment on patience - sitting up with him at night or playing with him and taking his mind off something that he is upset about. She did have a serious case of baby blues after he was born. I'm just scared that she will not be able to cope with two children - no matter how hard she tries - and she does try. I would just like her to get help if it is needed before my children pick up on this yo-yo behaviour of hers.

Reply to Deon
Posted by: Mel | 2007/12/12

Hi Deon, I don't know what the professionals are going to tell you but I have seen a similiar reaction from my daughter. You can see that I have asked a lot of questions on how to handle this. She for instance has always had the most wonderful ideas and has pursued them just to give up a month or two later. She is very intelligent but just doesn't seem to get to the point of achieving anything. She was diagnosed with bipolar and if you read my questions this is a real problem. I don't know how old your wife is and how long you have noticed this behaviour but this could be a problem. I suspect bipolar is also in our family although it has not been proven because in our era things like this were not known.

Rather have her tested now but if she has bipolar it seems like a very difficult road ahead.

Reply to Mel

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