Our expert says:
Its not entirely clear from your mesage, but it sounds as though the depression was relieved in some way back on 2009, and has recently returned and is growing worse ? I understand that now having problems at work on top of this you feel a degree of despair, but obviously neither running away nor harming yourself are good ideas and both make matters very much worse.
DO arange, udgently and as an emergency, directly through their offices or via a casualty department, to see a good local psychiatrist for a full assessment and advice on starting effective treatment. Its possible that untreated but growing depression might have played a part in whatever problems arose at work. And the shrink, like a counsellor, could help you prepare for and handle the hearing better.
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