Our expert says:
Sorry to hear of all this turmoil and unhappiness. It sounds as if there are different aspects to this clump of problems, needing different approaches. You need to see a Psychiatrist, not a psychologist, for a full assessment of your situation, and advice on the extent to which medication can help reduce the extent to which you are having anxiety attacks, and perhaps depression. If these are indicated ( and the psychiatrist can tell you after the assessment ) they could help quite a bit. Maybe marriage counselling should be tried again, with you two going together ( not waiting for him to make an appointment ) and focussing at first on his increasing abusiveness towads you and the children. From the sound of it he probably has problems as well which he isn't admitting to, and maybe he can face this issue within the marriage counselling, and maybe even proceed towards treatment for himself specifically.
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