Posted by: Carol | 2008/06/29

Depression and other matters

CS how are u doing , I heard about your mom , and my deepest sympathies ....

I have a royal pickle on my hands .

My son and his girlfriend are living with us with baby ..... I get on very well with his girlfriend , we have an excellant realtionship.

Now a little while ago I started seeing tiny signs of neglect with the baby .... not bathing regulalry , dirty clothes etc ...she adores the baby however and seems to spend all her time with her .. as i say its these "little" things .....

( this was the girlie that lost babys sister) .. anyhow I asked her if she was on any antidepressants etc ... she said no .. her mother didnt think it was needed . okay .... I said to her right you are coming with me to my doc ... cos IMO these little things and a host of other things are signs of possible depression ,.... it turns out I was right ..... she is severly depressed ....

She also confided to me that she is sick and tired of my son ... now this doesnt surprise me at all ... my son is just like his father I, and I divorced him ..... , she doesnt have the courage to do anything about it , and is worried that it will upset hubs and I .

I told her that she is my other "daughter" and hubs and I would respect any descions she makes , and she would remain part of our family ..... I also told her that IMO we need to get her stabilised on meds , get HER sorted before she makes any descions , this poor kid cant talk to her own mother and is so lost.

Her and I can never have a "chat" because my son has this notion that anything I say to her must be said in front of him ...... a real bully boy .....

If my hubby ever hears the way he speaks to her sometimes then there is going to be HUGE trouble ...... im trying to keep out of it by supporting her , helping her with baby.

She has taken my advice with baby , and now I have a shiny baby , but this begs the question .. how much does one interfere .....

I want her mentally strong enough to make her own descions .... as for my son ... he must take the consequences for his behaviour ......

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Our expert says:
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Sounds, as usual, as though you're doing your best, which is all most of us can do, most of the time. Do you think marriage counselling will be a possible option when she gets less depressed and more able to care for herself ?

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