Our expert says:
You sem to be describing a significant depression which isn't responding at all well to your current treatment. And for you still to be feeling suicidal after being on treatment for some while is of concern.
I don't understand your treatment, as you describe it. Urbanol is NOT a treatment for depression, and merely one of very many alternaives to treat Anxiety symptoms, with no special advantages, and spome concern about possible dependency if its used for long. Like alcohol, this whole familty of sedative tranquillizers can make one disinhibited and less in control of one's emotions and behaviours, and I don;tlike seeing them used where a person has been thinking of suicide.
Venlor is one of many alternative antidepressants, maybe less useful against anxiety symptoms than are others.
It may take a couple of weeks on any antidepressant before one can see what its likely benefits will be for oneself, but after more than that time, if the symptoms are still so strong, it is NOT the right drug for you. ( Only around 60-70 % of us respond really well to the first AD tried, and one may need to try 2 or even 3 to find what works best with one's personal chemistry. Lexamil is a different AD.
YOu need to see a good psychiatrist for a full re-assessment and a reconsideration of the best treatment. If you don't have medical aid and cant afford to see one privately, see one at your nearest major state / provincial hospital, or medical school, where your treatment would be charged only in proportion to your income.
You do need and deserve this re-assessment and further advice, as your condition should be able to respond well to proper treatment.
And have you given your fiancee and family a chance to talk with you and offer you support ? How could someone earn the privilege of being your fiancee if they cant understand your deep distress and your need for encouragement and suppoprt ?
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