Our expert says:
I wonder whether the probem here might be Dysthymia ( a somewhat milder but longer-lasting and more stubborn to respond to treatment -- form of Depression ? If the person you saw conducted CBT like a positive thinking class, they may well have been doing it wrong. There's a difference between artificial and phoney Positive thinking, and the stubborn negative thinking of a chronic depressive which may be no more genuine or accurate.
There is no point at all in being on "low-dose" antidepressants --- either you are on a sufficiently high dose to enable it to be effective, or you may as well not take it at all. And taking it occasionally, forbids it to act as an antidepressant, though some of the older ones may be sedative enough to help you sleep better. And is it fruitful to think about how things might have been different (they could have been better or worse) if only you'd made different choices years ago? That was then, this is now, we can't go back and revise those decisions. We can only revise our plans for tomorow, not for last week
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