Posted by: MOM | 2004/10/28


Dear CS,

My mom died earlier this year and it has affected me in a big way, the night she died my brother and sister went to see her body, I never did and I am now suffering from depression, could her death have triggered the depression. My psyciatrist said that I should of seen her body so that it was final.

I have two small children the second was born in Jan and I have lost interest in both of my children and I used to spend alot of time with the first one and loved it. Now I sometimes regret have them ... is this normal ...

I just want to be their mother again and a wife again taking alot of strain at home my husband does not understand depression and is very unsympathetic.

How long can depression last ? I heard of people getting depressed again after having been depressed is this true

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear MOM,
COuld be Depression, or the normal but painful proceess of grief / bereavement, or a mixture of both. You mention your psychiatrist, so I hope I'm right in assuming that you are seeing a shrink and already under treatment. Groef often lasts 9 to 12 months, as does Depression. Depressions can recur, and in maybe 70 % of people who get one depression, there could be another in the future. But once you know what treatment works best for you, this can be started earlier if any further attack occurs, and work better in that way. And if it took a complex bereavement to set off your depression, maybe yoyur chances of a second depression may be a little lower.
As TW says, one does get over it, especially with the proper help, and even though at times this seems to be impossible, it does happen. And there's a shift from remembering the person with pain, to remembering them with happiness, for all the good things they were to you. Some men are uncomfortable when someone else expresses their emotion, and feel uneasy because they don't know what to do to help. Consider seeing a counsellor.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: TW | 2004/10/28

Know how you feel...My father passed away 3 yrs ago suddenly. I would find myself crying lot and really feeling down.

But believe it or not it does get better over time and you look back and all the good times and it brings a smile to my face, even though i miss him terribly!!!!

One thing that got me throught that sad time was GOD he was my rock, my strength and really helped me move on and understand why too.

When it comes to your husband i guess hes like that as some men dont know what to do really ... be open with him and mention when you feeling at a low point ask him to come rub your back or something to know he cares and that way you dont feel like he is being uncaring...

IT takes time and is normal to not want to do motherly and wifey things, give your self some time and take each days as it comes ...

Trust me you can get through this and cry when you feel like it get those feeling out there and you will slowly start to feel better. maybe even go see a christian counsellor they have loads of experience and may offer you so help to...

:) God bless

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