Our expert says:
Your wife's sister sounds more than usually interfering and downright stupid in the comments you quote. Apart from it being unhelpful for her to say such things in front of your wife, in what twisted way could she imagine that if you had actually had an affair with her father's girlfriend it would help her ? She sounds a highly unpleasant, selfish person keen to make trouble for others if she thinks it may benefit her in any way. How does she get her hands on your bank statements ? It sounds like it would be useful to discuss this with your wife and agree to exclude her from your lives, as it appears she brings nothing but conflict and misery to others. No wonder she's still living at home.
If your wife is insisting on giving preference to her malevolent sister over you and your children's needs, then she is partly causing her opwn problems. Have you discussed this with the shrink treating her, who may need to understand this aspect of what's going on ? Marrriage counselling sounds really needed, and maybe your counsellor who you refer to has to be kept fully informed and become more active.
Its nonsense for her to insist that its more important for her bitter sister to attend your child's birthday than you, the father, or to spend Christmas with the sister rather than with you. It may be useful to consult a lawyer, too
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