Our expert says:
Making you feel like it's all your fault is a typical technique of the abuser - do not believe it or accept this additional insult. If you do, it'll last longer than the physical bruises. What, actually, do you miss ? Surely not the abuse and the consistent lack of respect for you ? Isn't it more that you miss the guy you THOUGHT he was, the man you HOPED he might becopme ? And you're reluctant to admit that he wasn't and won't be.
Give up, permanently on him, and on any hopes that he might eventually become a good man. ANd accept, permanently all the interesting and good possibilities that will now open up for you. You may be feeling insecure about actually being free, after not being free for so long. See a good local counsellor, and work to strengthen your self-esteem and make good plans for the future.
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