Our expert says:
You are suely depressed, possible even Depressed. You are also, surely, grieving --- bereavment, after the loss of someone so important to you, is hard work and takes time ( check the Archive of this Forum, as I have discussed Grief / Bereavement many times ), It is normal to feel sad and a host of other symptoms during grieving, but it doesn't have to be so bleak and miserable--- counselling could be really useful to help you work through the necessary tasks of grief, and move towards the stage when recalling your loss wont be so painful, and it'll be much easier to cope with life.
With the additional burden of an irresponsible, gambling husband, it's hardly surprising that you are becoming depressed and in need of some care and assistance.
Grief is very like depression, and one might be suffering from both. Either way, seeing a shrink for a full assessment and advice on managing this unpleasant phase, would be an excellent idea. Yes, it is likely to blow over some day, but you deserve a lot more than just waiting through the misery, for that day. More active treatment can help you through the proces more comfortaly and efficiently, and maybe even leave you stronger to handle future stresses,
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