Posted by: Sick | 2003/02/24


I am so depressed, everything seems grey and my life has absolutely no colour in it. I tend to be existing day-to-day. I dread getting up in the mornings. I cannot focus on one thing at a time for more than 5 minutes. I have just lost my mom, my husband gambles all of our money everytime, which has left us in a financial predicament. I feel as though I am psycologically ill. I cannot think of positive things, no matter how hard I try. Will this just blow over some day and is it just normal feeling like this? Please help

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Our expert says:
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Dear S,
You are suely depressed, possible even Depressed. You are also, surely, grieving --- bereavment, after the loss of someone so important to you, is hard work and takes time ( check the Archive of this Forum, as I have discussed Grief / Bereavement many times ), It is normal to feel sad and a host of other symptoms during grieving, but it doesn't have to be so bleak and miserable--- counselling could be really useful to help you work through the necessary tasks of grief, and move towards the stage when recalling your loss wont be so painful, and it'll be much easier to cope with life.
With the additional burden of an irresponsible, gambling husband, it's hardly surprising that you are becoming depressed and in need of some care and assistance.
Grief is very like depression, and one might be suffering from both. Either way, seeing a shrink for a full assessment and advice on managing this unpleasant phase, would be an excellent idea. Yes, it is likely to blow over some day, but you deserve a lot more than just waiting through the misery, for that day. More active treatment can help you through the proces more comfortaly and efficiently, and maybe even leave you stronger to handle future stresses,

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Our users say:
Posted by: Paul | 2003/02/24

It is not abnormal to feel like this, it is abnormal to feel like this too much of the time. I have been through it as well, been on meds, been to councelling and eventually found a little bit of sanity on my own.

The loss of your mother is also a traumatic experience and often loss like that triggers off a reaction of a similar loss that hasn't been completely dealt with before. I suggest that you take time in working through this loss ie. Denial / shock, grieve and acceptance. Your husband needs to get serious help as GAMBLING ADDICTION is one of the WORST ADDICTIONS THERE are. It is even worse than heroin as with gambling the entire family suffers. It does sound like you could very well be suffering from circumstancial depression and sometimes all it takes is a good hearty chat to a professional with fresh ideas and concepts to sort this kind of problem out. Please make an appointment for yourself and your hubby and be willing to admit that there are wrongs and be willing to work at fixing them.

Good luck to you.

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