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Question
Posted by: Wreck | 2004/10/14

Demanding Dad making me miserable

My parents gambled all their money away 4 yrs ago. I ran around and got a home with a cottage at the back to help them. The house has been a financial burden to me ever since. My 2 kids and I have lived like trailer trash because I basically cannot afford the home. and I only got it to save his irresponsible backside.

Now my mom passed away 4 months ago. Since then my dad has become a pain in the backside because he is so demanding. Every time I turn he needs to go to the doctor for something. Every time I turn he's at my front door needing something. I am so irritated and even my kids wish he would leave. My sister has told him to go down to her for a holiday. I don't want to hurt his feelings but I want to tell him I wish he would go to my sister because I cannot cope anymore.

Please help with advice. Thanx.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Wreck, you may need to talk with him firmly, and explain that his financial situation was entirely of his own making, and that you cannot continue to take the emotional and financial strain of caring for him, any longer. Encourage him to go to your sister, so she can share the burden, but with a clear understanding of how he needs to behave to reduce the burden on her. Maybe you also need to explain that you can't aford to kep up this larger home that you got to help care for him and your mom.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Wish I could complain about my dad! | 2004/10/14

I know this may come across as being harsh but you obviously do not appreciate your dad's presence. I once was in your situation where I wished my dad to go away as he was a burden emotionally i.e. Now 4 years down the line I wish he was around to irritate me, phone me 10 times a day. I wish he would nag me and tell me wat to do. Yes, he passed away...he was murdered and how I pray I could turn back the hands of time. How I wish he could see his grandchildren growing up. I wish I could take away the pain from my mum's eyes. I wish MY DAD WAS BACK as he was wrongly taken away from us all.
Instead of complaining about the person that brought you into this world, try and come to a compromise, maybe let him stay with ur sis for a while and then with you. But please I know this is hard to do but never stop showing him luv as he is not going to here forever.

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