Our expert says:
It seems that this break up has been very distressing for you and that it has left you with unresloved issues. This kind of sexual problem sounds like what we refer to as 'delayed ejaculation'. It can be that a man with this condition struggles to ejaculate all the time, or maybe it may only be difficult when they are with a partner. Whatever the case the problem is often psychological in nature - the problem may relate to different issues - perhaps a difficulty of 'letting go', difficulty trusting, a dislike of the 'mess', fear of infection/pregnancy, fear of commitment.... These issues would need to be addressed in order for the person to relax enough to 'give in' to the sensations and enjoy the sexual experience. It is most important not to blame yourself. If it is possible, perhaps it would be a good idea to discuss the issue with him. If you feel there is a future in this relationship you may want to seek further professional help together. It is of course preferable if both partners attend but you can still get help on your own to help understand what happened here. You can contact the SASHA (South African Sexual Health Association) helpline Tel -0860 100 262 for referral.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
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