Hi. I''m not sure if this is the right forum to post this question. I have a problem that is getting worse. I don''t know why but I try to avoid going to the toilet for as long as I can. I hate going to the toilet or bathroom as I don''t want to have to touch me (although there are times when feelings build up and I am forced to masturbate). I don''t like masturbating but it is the only way I can get rid of whatever feeelings I have. Masturbating doesnt do much for me unless I start thinking of my uncle and fantasizing about me raping him! I am grossed out as I am writing this but I need some kind of help. My uncle used to fondle me when i was about 8 or 9. He never raped me but now I have fantasies wishing he did as I feel " rejected."  Why didnt he go all the way? I feel as if I am the one at fault. Are you able to say why i wait until the last minute to use the toilet? I am 40 and have never been intimate with anyone besides my uncle. Can you give any advice