Posted by: Sam | 2004/10/13

Decisions Decisions

I'm battling with a tricky problem. I've been married for just over 4 years (we've been together for 9 years). My husband battled quite a bit jobwise especially the last 2 years, but it has always been a problem. There was one job since I've know him, where he managed to do well (& not clash with the bosses - leading to him resigning or getting fired) He has now packed up his stuff and moved back to his parents & wants to stay there. He is (together with a relative) busy setting up a business and he wants me to join him, leaving everything and find a new job at the coast where he is. He wants to create the impression that this now now a great venture. But how do I know? I've fairly recently started a new great job, which was something we've planned together to make it easier to have kids. I don't want to devorce him, but I also don't want to move down to the coast & stay so close to his parents. This he knew beforehand. One problem that through the years keep on occuring is the fact that he just do things and doesn't discuss it with me or not care about my needs. How does one solve this? I want to stay here and he wants to stay there.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Wouldn't it be best for hi to set up the new business he inststs on, and invite you to join him once it's up and running and earning money, rather than have you give up your job and earnings at this stage ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Art | 2004/10/14

Sam, your boyfriend needs to learn that life is not just about his needs it is a two way street marriage is like a business you run it poorly it fails, so he needs to understand that you have your own needs and they may not be his, as CS said once he can proof that he is making the money and offer you the life you need then yes you can look at things but till then he needs to understand

Reply to Art
Posted by: Sam | 2004/10/13

Thanks Doc,
That sounds like a great solutions!
My further problem would be that at some point one will have to make a prediction on how successful this business will be, because I'll have to give up a lot and move to close to the parents-in-law. He's a sales person and tend to make things sound very rosy.

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