Our expert says:
So sorry to hear about this, Pokkel --- and your reactions are normal, but need and deserve assistance. After the awful experience of losing the first child, one can actually, if one isn't careful, increase the risk to your second child by being over-protective. Counselling would be a really good idea, to enable you to get back to being normally protective and caring, without smothering, so you can recognize the boy's resilience and strength and let him enjoy a normal childhood.
I find in circumstances like these two types of problems often arise --- one is the over-concern, over-protactiveness, excessive worrying you describe here, the other is a parent who becomes cool and uncaring, scared to invest her love in the child for fear of losing him too. Both patterns are in the long-term, not wholesome for a child. Yours is the safest variety of this problem, but needs a counsellors help to get it back into proportion so you and the child can both become free to enjoy life all the more
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