Our expert says:
So sorry to hear of this family tragedy. Death of a loved one is hard enough to deal with under the best of circumstances, and is more diffficult when the death was sudden, unpleasant, public, and newsworthy.
Congratulations on doing so well in providing the eulogy - its really within those good memories of a person that they continue to live and influence our lives.
But these are VERY early days, even after a peaceful, expected and timely death, to be expecting to be over it - grief is really hard work, and it MUST take time, and that is months ( for the worst of it ) and years further.
Its a matter of choice as to whether one chooses to scan the internet for pictures. Some might find the images comforting, many of us would find them disturbing. But its not compulsory to view them.
I wish the authorities, Afghan and South African, dealing with tragedies like these, would recognize more carefully the needs of the survivors, and also that uncertainty can be worse than anything.
In a situation like this where a number of people died violently together and the remains were probably shattered and mixed, it may take time for the authorities to properly identify what remains of each person, and to make sure that you receive back, for burial, as much as posible of what can be identified as your uncle's remains. That may indeed be an ugly thought, but probably better than other altgernatives.
Consider seeing a grief counsellor ( for instance some are associated with Hospice programs ) and get such help for working through what will be a long grief, but will enable you to remember a good man with joy and gratitude for all that he was, and, in your memories, still is.
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