Our expert says:
Try to find a local grief counsellor, or just a good local counsellor experienced in dealing with grief. In the situation you describe, there can be an Anniversary reaction to the loss of her mom, and stuill unresolved grief, needing to be worked through. here is no value to not mentioning her mom, so you've been doing the right thing. Encourage her to see a counsellor --- the counsellor doesn't need to "know her pain" in a direct way, any more than a surgeon needs to have a painful broken leg in order to help set your own broken leg. But most counsellors have had their own experience of the pain of loss, too. Generally, by a year after, the grief would have started to lift, but this is an average, and for some very normal people it takes longer. MY pal Colin Murray-Parkes wrote one of the best books on grief and bereavement, which should still be available in paperback.
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