Posted by: J | 2004/11/08

Dear CS- Book reviews and some other questions?

I am the mommy with the suicidal 11 yr old and the one with the ex-problem counsellor.
I have done a search on the net for possible tips on how parents can deal with above; specifically with the low self-esteem issue.
The same results surfaced, ie. Supporting and encouraging him, especially wrt new activities; not criticising;positive attention, etc. Nothing different to what I have always been doing. Now, I wonder where have I gone wrong?
Yesterday, he was upset because he had to study and he tore his books up into tiny little pieces.
I know we have a long way ahead of us, but sometimes I wish there was a quick, overnight solution to all of this. Somehow, I think so does he.

Anyway, I have noticed your efforts to go the extra mile with the imminent book reviews. I am confident that this will add tremendous value to the already wonderful advice that you are offering.
My question: Will you at any stage, review any reading material that can assist re. above?
Also, we will be meeting with psychiatrist on Thursday with the possibility of my son going on to meds. Can you assist me with possible questions to ask before he starts the medication ?
CS, all of this is beginning to take its toll and I cant stop myself from crying all the time.

Thanks for all your help.

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Our expert says:
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You know J, just because even following the best available advice, tings are not yet perfect, doesn't mean that YOU are a failure. Sometimes it takes longer than we'd care for, for things to come right. And yes, he'd probably like that quick solution, too.
Someone once said, to every problem their is an answer that is neat, attractive, logical, quick, and totally wrong.
After the first batch of book reviews, I want to continue to add reviews wherever I can find useful literature available both for me to review and for you to buy ( and that's what I'm working on, as well ).
As for questions to ask the psychiatrist, obviously much will depend on what he says and recommends. I'd at least suggest you ask him to clearly explain what his diagnosis is, and to explain this to you until you understand it ; ask about prognosis ( long-term outlook ) and treatment available and recommended. For drugs especially, ask their names, their side-effects, risks, side-effects & benefits ( what to look out for ) and if they might interact with any other meds he might need to take. Ask if there are psychological / social treatments that might help, and if and where these would be available. And ask what you specifically can do to handle these problems more effectively and confidently. That should keep him busy !

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