Our expert says:
Obviously just going to church did NOT work things out, and valuable though it is, it is NEVER a substitute for needed couples counselling. Everything you describe suggests strongly that such counselling is needed. Sorry about the nosy colleague ! Maybe you should leave increasingly bizarre forms on the fax machine until it becomes clear they cant possibly all be true, and until nobody's sure what, if anything, might be true.
But maybe after you make progress in individual counselling, you can persuade her to join you.
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