Our expert says:
You're actually describing, very well, what sounds like an OCD, an Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, which can indeed be very troubling, but fortunately usually responds really well to proper treatment. You would best arrange to see a good local shrink for a proper assessment and diagnosis, and then discuss your treatment options. SOme medications can help a lot, as can CBT ( Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ) which can help you to get this under control, and to stop wasting so much energy worrying about risks you realize are exaggerated but which at present nonetheless concern you so greatly.
You should not try to do this entirely on your own - that'd be like trying to remove your own appendix - but the proper expert assistance will make sure you can successfully beat this, and it will only work with your own efforts being central to this all
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