Posted by: Gutted | 2005/12/12

dealing with death

Hi there, not sure if this the right place to vent but anyway...
On Friday night two of my closest friends were killed in a car crash. A guy ran a robot and straight through them. My friend driving was killed instantly, the passanger died 9:00 the next day. The guy who hit them was unharmed.

Now I'm a father, (my sons innocent little nature is holding me together) so to me no life is cheap, I know how much love, sacrafice, attention, tolerance... (i could go on forever) goes into the rearing of life, for all that to just extinguish... its blown me away. We literally were the last people to see them alive, they said good bye and went on to the crash, I only got the call the next morning, but it was just round the corner from where we said our 'good byes'.

We're all a buch of roughians, but the driver, he was such a peacful, passive funloving guy, the thought of the terror of his last few moments is haunting me. When we said our goodbyes he payed for the chow and showed me somthing on his phone, when they found the bodies there were no phones or wallets on either of them, which means some excuse for a lifeform stole these items, the driver was so badly injured that his father could only indentify him from tattoos he had on his lower back, yet some one managed to remove his wallet and cell phone. I have always come across as a strong person, epeacially to my family, but i feel totally and utterly gutted. People just offer condolences and I break down. I'm also a realist, so I know shit happens , life must go on, time will heal, i know what everyones gonna say, but in 2years when my boys gotten older, and life is moving on, my friends will still be gone... I'm never going to see them again... ican't get my head around that!

Sorry, I think I'm venting more than anything else.

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Our expert says:
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So very sorry to hear about this shocking event, gutted, And having been severely injured in a major acident ( as a passenger ) myself earlier this year, I tend to resonate to these feelings. So feel free to vent.
And I share your horror, not only at the accident, but perhaps especially at the subhumans who stole from the warm bodies. They probably figured that these people would not be able to notify the cell-phone company of the theft.
All death is shocking and hurtful, but such a sudden, unexpected death, of more than one friend, so close to you, and so young, can be especially shocking. One does ecover from this, though it seems right now to be impossible ; and in time one will remember their lives with pleasure, rather than remembering their loss with pain.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Blue Eyes | 2005/12/12

I lost a friend just over a year ago, she was a passenger. The driver was a new guy she met, they went out on their first date, he drank too much and drove into a tree. She flew through the windscreen, and died later in hospital..... he survived with only minor injuries. He took away a dear friend and a mother to 2 young children. Her family were so good hearted, they never pressed charges, they believe that living with the guilt of killing someone is punishment enough!

I know exactly how you feel, it feels so final, the thought that you will never see them again. It's so traumatic.

Thank you for sharing your feelings, I hope your pain lessens!!

Reply to Blue Eyes
Posted by: carol | 2005/12/12

I feel for you , Im still battling to come to terms with losing my dad to suicide 3 weeks ago , the shock has left me numb , i cant seem to be able to face it ..its the strangest feeling as if im just a bystander and not taking part in whats going on , im functioning , back at work , but i cant remember one minute to the next what im supposed to be doing .

Life is the pits sometimes , what we are supposed to learn from it is anyones guess .

Keep strong , i suppose it does get better.

Reply to carol
Posted by: ZeeZee | 2005/12/12

This is so and the families who lost there loved ones will be in my prayers

Reply to ZeeZee
Posted by: Pencil | 2005/12/12

Gutted, I don't know what to say, but I'm thinking of you and praying you'll get through this. Take care of yourself.

Reply to Pencil

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