Posted by: Confused | 2009/01/22

Dead feelings.

CS...Ive been with my man for a long time now.In 2001 when I was in varsity I found out that he has 2 kids with another woman.I loved him more than u can possibly imagine.The pain I felt when I found out is too much to explain.I was shattered.

Well in 2003,they broke up.And we got back together.We have a son (born 1996).I have forgiven him and I do trust him again.We are married and have another baby and staying together in our house.

The thing is I dont get hurt anymore.Nothing hurts me.Im not sure if u understand me.My mom passed away,I did not even shed a tear.When he comes home late from work,I just believe him and go on with life.His mom does unspeakable things,but they dont get to me.If something happens or is done that is supposed to hurt me,I dont hurt at all.I was given a letter at work saying my services are no longer necessary.I got home and showed him the letter,he was expecting me to cry or something.But I just told him its fine,something will come up.He was shocked at how I always hnadle hurtful things think he hurt me too much my hurt is dead.

Is this normal or am I sick?

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Our expert says:
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Sorry, C. I had composed a brilliant answer to this one, when "|pling !" the electricity went out, switched off by the City Council for the second time in a week, for the frivolous reason that they were cutting trees somewhere in the neighbourhood,and they were in too much of a hurry to warn us.
SO now I can't remember what the previous brilliant answer was.
Finding out about the other relationship and the other kids must have been very painful for you. What may have happened since then may be that, in a sense, your emergency response, adopted to limit the emotional pain then, rather got stuck, and may have prevented you both from feeling some positive emotions fully, and may also have prevented you from feeling so me of the sadness that might have been apt and useful. Its useful to be able to avoid being devastated by mean people and bad news ; but not useful to be too numb to such things, as it impairs your ability to cope best with them. Counselling would be useful, if you can find an affordable counsellor near you.

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