Posted by: ME asking advise | 2012/11/05

Daugther Update

Hi All and Cybershrink,

I posted last time regarding my 14 year old daughter in rehab, and must say wonderfull reinforcments happened in the mean time. The sessions I attended helped a lot dealing with my daughter and she has been discharged afte 6 weeks of rehab and is going now for aftercare.

We found the root of the problem and she could never really coped with the secret she was hiding, She fell pregnant while she was at boarding school and the boy and his mother took her for an abortion, and she could never dealt with it or tell me, she was afraid what I would think of her and things spiral out of control, I went for individual counseling with her and we managed to see the future now.
She is staying with my Dad and Step mom and will build up relationship with her familiy including parents and step parents, it is so great to see her , sy is really doing well and we decided to not send her back to the school she attended and she will do homeschooling in a homeschooling centre, My partner also feels that she should buiilt up trust and they will build up a relationship and it will take time Although it is tough for me but I respect her wishes and his wishes, My daughter also recommend not to stay with us because she needs to take responsiblity for her actions and want''s to proof that she is changing her ways.

It is such a uplifting feeling and I must admit the rehab visits was exhausting but worth it, My family supports us 100% and Doc I took your advise not to fight with my partner regarding his decision and all is calm it is a long road to recovery but we will get through this as a family. She suffers also from post traumatic stress and was assesed , she get counseling and NA meetings also, her specialist it very happy with her progress. Me too, I am building a relationship with my daughter and every week it is only me and her spending time together. Thanks for all the advise

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Thanks so much for the followup. Gosh. GOod to hear that there will be follow-up - too many rehab programs fail to do so, and this is an essential step.
Its hard to believe that a girl of 14 could fall pregnant ( for anyone to have sex with a child under age is technically rape ) and then get an abortion with the assistance of the boys mother, without her own mother knowing, though I understand that the current law may indeed allow abortion with the child's consent ( I'm not at all sure this is a wise idea, and your daughter's experience may illustrate one of the reasons why this is not a good idea ).
Thank goodness you are now talking about this ; it must have been awful for her to feel unable to tell you and discuss this. Congratulations to you and your daughter for achieving this.
If I played even a small role in enabling you to get this together, and hold it together, I'm really pleased. You can both feel really proud for what you have achieved, individually and together.

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