Posted by: MUM | 2009/06/03


My daughter(age 19) and her boyfriend broke up in Jan 09 as he was seeing another girl and she was pregnant. He chose other girl over my daughter. My daughter keeps on contacting him, phoning sending nasty messages. We have sent her for counselling to help her cope but she goes on contacting him. We have again spoken to her last night. Pls help what do I do!

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Our expert says:
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THis is really up to her counsellor to work on, as nobody can help as remotely as I am here. She spounds as though she is dtermined to ignore the reality and believe, aainst the evidence, that he will return to her. He of course has behaved atrociously, and the other girl is a fool if she expects to be treated any better by him, but that's beside the point, except to remember to eventually go to the maintenance court and ensure that he has to pay full maintenance for the child, both for the child's sake, and for him to learn that iresponsible behaviour has consequences. If you are concerned that she is not improving, speak to her counsellor directly, and he/she should have some advice for you, based on what he has been working on with your daughter, to help you assist the process

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Our users say:
Posted by: Nish | 2009/06/03

Send her to a place that really can offer her the best advice. Psychologist can help. She needs to stop acting foolish &  childish. I am 19, female. She is just gona be the laughing stock to her ex &  his gf &  ur daughter is gona have it really bad. They most likely gona say shez still youth thats y shez being so immature &  childish. He left so what now? Not the end of the world. He left her for some1 else which shows his not worth it. Ur daughter should move on, its for the better. Shez only going to hurt herself more. U think her ex is gona care if she cry' s her eyes out or if she hurts herself? He is with the woman he wants so get her to see a psychologist. I dont expect ur daughter to be like me but i can be an example to her. Im 19, got a great job. Bought my own car with not even my family' s help. Im living happy, im engaged to a wonderful guy who is 24 &  yes he does do alot for me but even if he were not there i can stand on my own two feet. Ur daughter needs to know that a guy who leave u for some1 else is not worth crying over or hurting over. I can out myself in that position... i have been hurt so many times that i made it clear to my guy that if he wants to cheat please leave &  make it easy for the both of us. I really love him &  although we engaged to be married even if he must do that to me i will hurt inside knowing after all we been through he has cheated but i will gain the courage to move on &  it has happened to me in the past so i am very aware of how it feels to be left for some1 else but i got over it &  have the confidence to know i will find better &  some1 who will love me more than anything &  i did find him after lots of heartache &  pain. I was cheated on, left for other girls, dumped bcoz i was not as thin as other girls. Yet im only 55. I had the worse treatment from guys but good things come to those who wait. So get ur daughter help so she can move on &  not waste time with this idiot.

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