Posted by: Apparently not so Holy | 2008/07/09

Dating Holier than though

my on off boyfriend of about a year has never introduced me to his family he claims that cause he lives with his brother he is not allowed to date etc his mother is in a different country. we hardly ever go out either he is at church or fasting or there is issues at home with his brother. when he does come to my place we make love but not once has he slept over claiming his brother would blow a fuse if he did. this person is 28 years old. half the time hell tell me how i need to concentrate on prayer blah blah and pray for him to get out of his brothers house so things can be ok for us..i am sorry i dont want to play a matyr for the cause anymore,,ive did that in a previous relationship and all i got was fractured ribs and dumped

today i sent him an email saying i am not happy with the arrangement cause he blew me off last week when hed promised wed do lunch citing his sister in law had had a miscaraige and after that told me he cant c me for two weeks cause he is fasting when i complained about that this morning he sent me an email saying i am stressed at work and he doesent have time for my stress and i must watch out for the wrath of God and i told him that fck him and he must fck off. was i harsh with him?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If he's an adult, he IS allowed to date, and if he thinks he isn't, or allows other people to dictate to him about this, then maybe he shouldn't date. In the common phrase, it sounds like he's just not that into you. Move on ; he sounds too immature and too tied up in his own odd ideas about fasting and restrictions in his life, to be free to have a proper relationship with you.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Gracie | 2008/07/10

Sorry to say this sista - but this man is just using you. His excuses are pathetic - he is not a teenager, he can come and go as he pleases and see who he pleases! Shame I pity you. Don't waste your time on him anymore and I would probably also have told him to take a flying #####!!! He needs to get his ducks in a row - what has his sister-in-law's miscarriage got to do with you and your lunch date??!! Are you sure it was his sister-in-law??? Tell him to take a hike - you could do better than the "mommy's boy" type anyway. Why does his mother who lives in another country have to say whether or not he can date? How old is he? Is he not man enough to make his own decisions. Heaven forbid you should marry his sorry ass!!

Reply to Gracie
Posted by: dawn | 2008/07/10

he is just using you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! get out!!!!!!!!!

Reply to dawn
Posted by: Run | 2008/07/09

Iyo sounds like my ex-boyfriend, maybe its him cos he's exactly the same age...Girl he is definately married or have a live in girlfriend, and u r just his sex toy....if i were u i will want nothing to do with him anymore, no e-mails no contants nothing at all...

Reply to Run
Posted by: TP | 2008/07/09

He is probably married this guy.....stay away from him

Reply to TP
Posted by: Anon#2 | 2008/07/09

Weird - fasting for two weeks while having sex outside of marriage, threatening you, AND lying to his family? Talk about strange priorities.

Reply to Anon#2
Posted by: Babe | 2008/07/09

I think he's playing you - he most probably has a home and fam (wife n kids) and that is the reason u will neva meet his folks or fam or get to be seen with u. He is just using u for sex.

Reply to Babe
Posted by: Jenny (aka Nadine) | 2008/07/09

You weren't harsh with him at all. I would have done the same ................ and used the same words ;-)

Reply to Jenny (aka Nadine)
Posted by: SR | 2008/07/09

some people just cant take the blinkers off and realise they are human

Reply to SR
Posted by: Zola | 2008/07/09

I don't think for a second that you are over reacting. I am also a Christian but there is still life to be lived. Fasting and praying is all good but if he can't have room for you in his life because prayer takes up all of it, then he shouldn't be in a relationship. And where does he get off judging you...telling you to watch out for God's wrath? I wouldn't stand for it, but it's up to you girl....Christians like this actually chase people away from God.

Reply to Zola

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