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Question
Posted by: Jo | 2005/12/12

Daddy shouts all the time!!!

I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years now, we have 2 beautiful kids, our daughter 4 years and our son 4 months old. When we first moved into together, about 5 1/2 years ago, everything went fine, i found out i was expecting my daughter. I noticed he started to become agressive and would push me around a lot. When I was 33 weeks pregnant we had an argument, he threw me on the bed and punched me in the head.
The next morning, i found a letter apologuising profusly, but i still packed my stuff and left. Well we got back together and scince that day he never lifted his hands again.

He adores our daughter, and when i had our son, he told me nothing can come between their bond, but i have noticed a change in him lately, he has become very short tempered with her, and pulls her by the arms and throughs her on the bed when she becomes a bit out of hand, before he had only given her a hiding once, then he ended up crying, but now it is becoming a frequent thing. She doesn't want to be near him anymore, and when i try to talk to him, he says she is lying, I am so afraid he really hurts her. I have told him I will pick my children over him anyday. is this kind of behaviour abuse? I feel i am not over reacting and i need to resolve this even if it means me being a single mother!!!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Curious that he seems to become agressive towards you / the child, when you are pregnant ? This sounds like abuse, and he really ought to be pressed to enter counselling to sort this out. The children will not necessarily sufer awful harm, but this is potentially possible, and needs to be avoided. If he isn't prepared to urgently seek the help he needs, consider the option of separating until or unless he does, and maybe with the aid of POWA, find a safe place for you and the kids

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: waterblom | 2005/12/12

Surely you must know that this is harming your children for life. I had an abusive childhood and any parent who stands by and allows this to happen is as guilty as the doer.
If you don't want her to carry the mental scars for the rest of her life, then do something about it now.

Reply to waterblom
Posted by: Sideways | 2005/12/12

The damage this man is causing your children is beyond belief. It is immeasurable and completely unjustified. He is a bastard. Get your children away from this man. They need to be protected. His behaviour is completely inexcusable. He needs help, he must seek it but you must get your children away from him immediately!!!!

Reply to Sideways
Posted by: Carol | 2005/12/12

Your children will be scarred for life , I have 3 adult children all with severe emotional problems due to the same thing , only my eldest is starting to show signs of healing . They also hate their own father preferring to idolise their step father !

Reply to Carol
Posted by: 69 | 2005/12/12

Hi Jo, I am truely sorry to be reading this, as for 1 I have 2 very beutifull kids of my own also a boy and a girl. What really hurts me is when people pick the soft targets to vent all their anger on. I dont think you are over reacting, and I have to admit that when a daughter does not want to be around her dad, then there is something wronge. I would also not want to be the one to suggest a split, but please dont let this get out of hand, some cases and Im sure youve heard of them get very bad, and the kids are often scarred for life. Put a stop to this as soon as you can, Please for the kids sake.

Reply to 69

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